Trying to sit here and writing this one is a bit difficult tonight. Not necessarily because the subject matter won't come, but rather the distractions of this place have constantly prevented me from finishing this thing. It's fun to think of how easily distracted we are these days. There is always SOMETHING out there to occupy our brains, to keep us from thinking, things that keep us from achieving our full potential.
We ask ourselves how the ancients were able to see massive patterns in the stars, to see the movements of the planets, and to carefully observe and make accurate predictions about things so far removed from them as the movements of the planets and stars in their courses.
But then, they didn't have television or the internets or the lifetimes of the rich and famous to constantly pierce the veil of their concentration and prevent them from realizing the value of their thought. The great thinkers of Alexandria, Rome, Athens, Cairo, Peking, Kyoto, Damascus, Constantinople, they all had the same thing in common, their ability to focus entirely upon a single thought and follow it to it's ultimate fruition.
This is why Americans are so fucking stupid these days. We don't like to sit and think of ideas, we want to be force fed them through the IV tubes of the television, blogs, telephones and circuit breakers. Yes, I do recognize and understand the irony of complaining about these things in one of the very same mediums which I so readily lambast for being such a terrible distraction.
Why? Because they don't have to be. They can be incredibly useful tools for the advancement of humanity and our collective consciousness. In fact, there are uncountable amounts of people using them for exactly that purpose every day. Things like the LHC, the Hubble, CERN, the ISS, and so on, they all represent the amalgam of human forward thinking, and the dedication of certain peoples for the advancement of all.
But, I digress, you don't really come here to read about my thoughts on the degradation of human society, but rather to read about the titillating details about my torrid sex life. Unfortunately for you, today's reading is going to be a bit droll, as I only slept with her once. C------- was a girl I met at a party. She was hot, she had huge tatas, and we eyed each other across the room at the party the entire night. We flirted shamelessly with each other, and eventually ended up making out on the couch.
Ultimately we ended up in the spare bedroom, and I didn't have a condom. Normally, I hate condoms, but I recognize their usefulness, and she didn't want to go without. So, I actually left the comforts of our joint boudoir and asked my gracious host. After some searching, we found one, and sparks flew.
Ok, no they didn't. I told her it was because I was so used to having sex with boys that I came so quickly while fucking her. And thus began my long battle with explanations for my problem with premature ejaculation. Yes, I suffer from PE. Yes, it sucks, but no, I no longer make excuses for it. I have found ways to mostly control it, but sometimes... *shrug* such is my life. A lot of buildup to a quick and rather unimpressive bang.
Anyway, she apparently didn't have much experience either, and she apparently didn't have a problem with my peformance. She was the kind to make snide and crappy remarks about shit like that, and she apparently didn't. I couldn't tell you this from personal experience, as I never really talked to her after that. I did entertain the fantasy of someday finding her again and proving to her that I WASN'T a terrible lay, but I never did, and now the dream has faded.
It makes me think of sexual dysfunction. Most people have at least one, and most people won't talk about it if their life depended on it. I think a major reason for it is the same one that saw vocal genesis in my first posting. We, as a society, refuse to talk candidly about sex. War, violence, torture, hate, anger. These are all common discussions around the dinner table, but rarely are they interrupted by healthy and important discussions about sex and healthy sexual conduct. Oh FUCK, little Johnny brought home a BOY! We mustn't talk about it, we mustnt point out his DEVIANCE.
I understand the trail of how sex became such a taboo topic in this country. Ak me sometime, and I will gladly tell you all about it. Unfortunately, I've spent an excessive amount of time in previous blogs ranting about the failures of Christianity, and how poor it ultimately left us in dealing with normal social issues. Now, I don't think i will get into it so much. That doesnt mean I won't ultimately choose to do so,harping about the inadequacies of that disgusting religion is one of my favorite pasttimes. If this offends you, you should probably not ever read this blog again, because it is my intention of offending you as often and as completely as possible.
But that aside, I did and do wrestle constantly with my sexual problems. I've never really had a problem with being unable to perform, my little lad has always been up for whatever I've wanted him for, with those few exceptions when outside chemical stimuli physically prevented such a thing (much to my dismay, I assure you). But an early conclusion has always been an issue for me.
I've tried many different things over the years, things like breath control, changes in mental focus, preplanned masturbation, things like this. Relly, the only thing that has ever really worked is tantric exercises and the simple inevitability that comes with age. I also learned to maintain my erection long after I've achieved satisfaction, and... Other things.
Which brings me to the modern penchant for poor sexual behavior in general. Too many times I've talked to people that had had terrible after terrible experience in bed. Too many women I've spoken to complain about never having had an orgasm with a male, or who complain about how their partner just slaps on some lube and shoves it in.
HOW IS THAT NORMAL OR ACCEPTABLE?
I am shocked and appalled that so many members of my gender never bother with learning simple things like where the fuck the Clitoris is, not to even mention the oh-so-NOT- mythical G-spot. It's simple, fellas. The Clit is the little man in the boat, and the G-spot is that little mound of flesh you feel when you make a come along gesture inside her cunt. Look at a fucking diagram. Read some goddamn literature, or FOR FUCKS SAKE listen to your partner. It's easy, comforting, and it will make you better in the sack.
Oh wait, women don't like talking about their sexuality, so they are probably not giving you any pointers either.
And that's my beef with you, ladies. Learn to fucking express yourself in the bedroom. I don't mean screaming out dirty phrases in the midst of coitus, but calm instruction about what you like your partner to do is SIMPLE SHIT. If you don't tell him, chances are, he won't figure it out on his own, and he will think he's the best lay you've ever had.
Though chances are, he might actually be, which is sad. I'm not a don Juan or a Adonis by any stretch of the imagination, but if you have a partner like that, I promise you I'm better in the sack than he is. Hell, I will even prove it to you, just give me a call.
Oh boy, that's an invitation for an STD. Yep.
So only call me if you're clean. I am, and I certainly can prove that.
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